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Give Your Child the Values They Deserve PDF Print E-mail
Parents can combat societal pressures with the right approach
By Dr. Charles Fay

Peers, TV shows, movies, magazines…With so many external pressures facing kids at younger and younger ages, parents often wonder:stockxpertcom_id7489591_size1.jpg

  •  "How do I get my child to listen to me...instead of the'cool' kids at school?" 

  • "How do I teach my child the importance of hard work, honesty, and humility?"     

  •  "How can I reach them when they get so many messages that seem to say, 'Who you are is not as important as how good you look, and how many toys you have?' "

There is hope. Using the following tips, parents can have a much stronger influence than any friend or TV
commercial: 

Tip #1: Instead of telling your kids how to live, show them.

Wise parents commit lots of honest, respectful, kind, and responsible acts in front of their kids. Simply stated,
actions speak louder than words.  The next time another driver cuts you off or someone in your neighborhood needs help, treat the situation as an important opportunity to show your children how responsible, caring adults act.

Tip #2: Talk about your values when they’re eavesdropping.

What we say in front of our kids is more important than what we say to them. When you do something great, talk about it within earshot of your kids. For example, when your child is sitting nearby, you might say to your
spouse, "Honey, the clerk at the store gave me ten dollars too much in change. I could have kept it, but I gave it back. I always feel better when I do the right thing!"

Tip #3: Teach character and responsibility with empathy and consequences.

At the Love and Logic® Institute, we’ve found the most effective parents allow children to make mistakes in safe situations. Kids develop character and positive values when they learn that poor decisions result in uncomfortable consequences. Parents who deliver consequences with anger raise kids who spend their lives feeling angry and who reject their parents’ values. If those same parents replace anger with empathy, their children begin to see them as caring and recognize their values are important.

Dr. Charles Fay is a nationally known speaker, parent, and school psychologist with the Love and Logic Institute in Golden, Colo. His book, Love and Logic Magic: When Your Kids Leave You Speechless, provides a host of helpful tips for teaching values, as well as handling other perplexing parenting issues.For more information about Love and Logic parenting and teaching techniques, call 1-800-LUV-LOGIC or visit www.loveandlogic.com